In Praise of Responsible Motherhood
Posted by thelimitarian on November 21, 2009
As I type, the US Senate is engaged in debate about the coverage or lack thereof that will be provided for abortion services under proposed health care reform legislation. As I listen to Orrin Hatch and his colleagues wring their hands over the prospect of American tax dollars being used in a way that some American citizens may find morally offensive, I am struck by two things:
1) What an incredibly, laughably weak argument this is.
2) They’re going to get away with making it, because the weakness of the defense of abortion rights is even more striking.
The reason for this is simple: there is no voice out there defending abortions. Not one. There are many pro-choice groups, but nowhere will you hear or read a defense of abortion itself.
Well, not quite nowhere. Read on.
Abortion is a wonderful thing. There are few things a person can do that can so change the trajectory of a person’s life for the better than, under the right circumstances, having an abortion. If women are allowed to choose – in cunning imitation of rational, independent human beings – whether or not to bear children, they have the power to control the circumstances under which the next generation of Americans comes into the world.
Do we approve of homeowners who decide to buy a house that they can’t afford? Do we approve of incompetent professionals who try to perform jobs they don’t know how to do? Then why on earth would we approve of (forget about insisting upon) a woman bearing a child without the means, competence, or desire to take care of it? There will always be lousy parents – must we put ourselves to the trouble of making more?
On the other hand, is it possible to speak too highly of the good mothers of this world? Does anybody do more to help a child grow up healthy, happy, economically productive and socially functional than a caring, competent mother? Three cheers, then, for every tool that we as a society can put at her disposal to make her job easier. In life, as in comedy, timing is important. Abortion gives American women the ability to make the most important decisions they make exactly that: decisions.
Finally – and let us say this loud and proud, and all the more so because it is demonstrably true by any reasonable standard:
An abortion is only a big deal if you need one and can’t get it.
It’s between a woman and her doctor for the same reason a prostate exam is between a man and his doctor: it’s uncomfortable, potentially embarrassing, and nobody else’s business. Sure, some people have decided to object to it on moral grounds; in this respect, abortion can get on the bus with meat-eating and hip-hop. You’re entitled to your moral objections. Just don’t expect us to pay much attention to you. Because if we’re smart, we won’t.
Eliza H said
I think you want to push the liberal envelope too much here and are reverting into taking the loud way out.
I’m pro-choice, like any good, young, east-coast jew. But I don’t know if I could ever get an abortion. “An abortion is only a big deal if you need one and can’t get one” isn’t true. Need tends to make things a big deal, yes. But abortions are traumatic for the mother and others involved. It’s complicated because of the delicate balance of the human psyche – some women are fine, some come out having lost a child. And that is worth considering. What makes it so hard is that it’s a super super personal consideration.
Do I think that anyone else can (or should) make the decision whether a woman should carry a baby to term or not? Absolutely not. But that doesn’t mean that it’s an easy experience – or just “embarrassing” or “uncomfortable.” In the end, it’s not a prostate exam. It’s a baby. And that makes shit hard.